Diving deep into internal conflict in Plastiscene’s “Blur to You”

Though the band never gained enough traction to hit the big stages, it is of my opinion that the world missed out on the artistic brilliance that was Plastiscene.

After 20 years of what seemed to be an endless hiatus, the 90s indie Brit-pop band came back from the dead with 17 unreleased demos on Bandcamp, one of which being “Blur to You” from The American Recording Sessions.

It is never explicitly stated what conflict is raging in the speaker’s mind, but considering the rest of Plastiscene’s discography (“Picture in My Mind,” “She Goes On,” “Disconnected”…) and background knowledge of the lead singer (Roger Gisborne), it is safe to guess that “Blur to You” is likely about a fight in a relationship, or it is about one that is falling apart. With the song’s use of repetition and changes in tone and pacing, the listener is enveloped in the speaker’s head as he analyzes and cries out over a falling out with a partner.

Sometimes I walk alone and I feel alive but I don’t know what to do
So I go for a drive
There’s a chance that we might fall, and after all it looks as though it’s true
That I feel it inside

The lyrical structure throughout the majority of the song follows a pattern of an extended stream of details followed by a shorter comment, such as “I feel it inside” or “I don’t know what to do.” In fact, the latter is also used a lot at the end of phrases, just like in any internal conflict happening in our own lives. When we are in shock, we either truly cannot comprehend what is going on or we do not allow ourselves to dwell on it. So it turns into a repetition of “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

The verses follow a melody that states a fact followed by an analysis of that fact; it starts in a higher pitch followed by a statement in a lower pitch that teeters out after a pause and a second thought, usually “I don’t know what to do.” In the two lines before the first chorus, however, that trend falls out, slowing in pace and stretching out notes to be held out longer. So instead, the stress and anxiety is shown not only with the lyrics, “Why am I so surprised?/Why is it true?” but also with the way the notes make it sound like the speaker is crying out.

All we do is close our eyes and live our lives just like we used to do
When I feel it inside
Oh, walk away to another day to another town where I know I’ve gone with you
And I don’t know what to do

Because the chorus is more legato than the verses, it seems as though it is moving slower and is less abnormal when it in fact follows the same pacing as the verse. But it is louder than the vocals of the verses, making it more passionate. As the lyrics of the chorus depict at least two people “closing their eyes” and “walking away,” it is obvious to see that instead of facing the fight or problem, they are refusing to see it. The passion in Gisborne’s vocals is a sense of disbelief — he doesn’t know what else to do except pretend that nothing is wrong and go on living like they used to.

Where the first verse was full of confusion and without a complete understanding of the gravity of the situation, the second verse and chorus is beginning to analyze what exactly is happening. This verse starts the same way as the first. This time, the statement is that the relationship is “fading” in her eyes, but he isn’t sure: “Is it all in my mind?” After the first four lines, instead of slowing down and stretching out the notes like the first verse, we have two more lines following the same quickened pace as the first lines of the verses. And it doesn’t trail off like the rest of the verse. It instead rises in pitch and carries the last note over the transition into the chorus.He isn’t second-guessing himself anymore — he is becoming more confident in the hypothesis that they are fading. The instrumentals kick up in the same way that they do in the chorus, so we know that at this point in the song, he is coming to realize the distance that has grown between him and his significant other.

Oh, if you knew my life with you was always missing something new
A better life a better view,
I don’t know why I’m missing you
Looking now, eyes open wide
So many times you know I’ve tried with you
Now I don’t know what to do

But the second chorus doesn’t end there. It continues on, similar to the second part of the verse before it. Keeping with the rambling pace, this section of the song is longer than any other we have seen before, showing a more processed analysis that has been formulated over an extended period of thought. But instead of analyzing the other person’s actions in the relationship, this section harbors a slight emotion of anger or frustration. “I always felt like something between us was missing, like I could’ve had better — and now that I think about it, I’ve tried so many times to make it better, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.” But there is also a potential of anger directed inwards as he scolds himself, “Why do I still miss you?”

All that you’re doing is closing your eyes
Are you living your life? Is it any surprise?
Are you counting the days? Are you going insane?
Are you feeling the pain? Will you do it again?
Oh, will you decide how you’re taking your time?
Is it all in your mind? Gotta leave it behind with you
’Cause I don’t know what to do

But that is not the longest section of the song. I have talked extensively about the brilliant lyrics of “Picture in My Mind,” but while I love those lyrics because of the image it paints in my head, these lyrics from “Blur to You” hit hard because it is a verbal transcription of an internal conflict that can be related to pretty much any life trial. It is the final outburst of the song, wondering whether or not the other person is suffering as much as he is. Sung in almost one breath, this is the first section of the song that screams out for a long time before finally pausing to take a break. It is, in a way, trying to confirm whether or not what he is experiencing is abnormal.

The song ends after that section. He cries out to ask “why,” and then everything drops back to the mood of the verse. There is no clear piano riff now, and the tempo slows before finally coming to a stop. It is as if the speaker has spent all of his energy and has drifted off to sleep. Depressing, but also a peaceful end to a conflict that has probably yet to be resolved. As it has now been over 20 years, I certainly hope that it has.