Eurovision 2023 RANKED
Eurovision Song Contest 2023 has come and gone, and boy did it leave so much baggage to unpack behind it.
Despite Ukraine winning the 2022 contest, due to the war, the runner-up (the United Kingdom) got the honor of hosting this year. Voting for both semifinals and the final was open to every country – no matter where the viewer was from – and all foreign-country-votes were pooled into a “Rest of the World” vote. Luxembourg was announced at the beginning of the final to be rejoining the contest starting 2024 after not having participated since 1993. And of course, despite receiving more televotes than Sweden did jury votes, the fan favorite (by a long shot) Finland failed to take the win over Loreen. As the hosts lead through the jury and televotes, every viewer could clearly hear the audience screaming “CHA CHA CHA” and “KÄÄRIJÄ” in the background.
Although I only tuned in for last year’s final, I do have to say that this year’s contest was a lot more entertaining for me, personally; there were less songs that I found forgettable even after listening to so many of them in close succession and there were so many mind-blowing vocal performances that I only really got last year from Azerbaijan’s “Fade to Black.”
As a primarily indie music fan, my picks for whom I want to win tend to vary a significant balance from both the public and jury votes. So many songs that I felt were brilliantly composed and amazingly performed fell out of the spotlight, and while I expect that having a more avant-garde taste than the general public, I still have the strong desire to give them more of a boost than what they got in the voting results.
In the explanations for my picks, I may include details on live performances for some of the songs. However, the ranking of these songs are being determined based solely on the official mixes on streaming platforms, not any live performances.
37. SERBIA – “Samo mi se spava” (Luke Black)
Ranked 24th in the final – This song was a fan favorite from what I’ve seen, but I expected nothing less than Serbia hitting the bottom of the final rankings. I never expected them to qualify in the first place, to be honest; I could barely hear what Black was singing, and the song is more noise pollution than it is catchy.
36. AZERBAIJAN – “Tell Me More” (TuralTuranX)
Not Qualified – I knew from the very second this song came on that I wasn’t going to like it. I hate it whenever songs use sound effects in their music, especially when they loosely fit in with the lyrics without a deeper knowledge of the message. It’s has a lazy early-2000s vibe to it with almost country/folk guitar plucking, and if there was one song I actively wanted to not qualify, it was this one.
35. ICELAND – “Power” (Diljá)
Not Qualified – While being a bold, triumphant vocal display live with Diljá getting up close and personal with the floor of the stage, I was upset when Iceland didn’t make it to Saturday’s final. But listening back to the official mix, the chorus of “Power” is way too repetitive and bright to the point of getting annoying after just the second repeated stanza. The vocals still hold strong, but they overstay their welcome and make Diljá sound like a teenager trying to get over a breakup or a quarrel with her parents, painfully undermining what the lyrics are actually about.
34. ITALY – “Due Vita” (Marco Mengoni)
Ranked 4th in the final – I started watching Eurovision just a year ago, and the performances I have seen from Italy in the past two years have not set a great reputation for me on their competitive turnout. The music itself is very open and airy like the vibe of a movie panning in on a man hiking alone on a snowy mountain, and the melody follows a repeating pattern of starting at a low pitch and gradually rising higher until hitting its ceiling in the chorus and falling back down. It is more cinematic than it is engaging, and the vocals are a bit too high and center-focused in timbre for my taste.
33. LITHUANIA – “Stay” (Monika Linkyte)
Ranked 11th in the final – Besides the repetition of “Čiūto tūto,” this song is the most forgettable song of any others from this year. Linkyte’s voice isn’t terrible, but it certainly overstays its welcome as she sings as a looping record, “My heart is beating.”
32. AUSTRIA – “Who the Hell is Edgar?” (TEYA, SALENA)
Ranked 15th in the final – The best part of this song has to be the lyrics and the way they poke at the flaws and black spots in the music industry, but the music isn’t a style of music that sings to me, and the valley-girl delivery of the song title doesn’t impress me, either.
31. POLAND – “Solo” (BLANKA)
Ranked 19th in the final – Yes, “Gladiator” should have been Poland’s entry. I project that it would have done better than “Solo,” but while compared to most of the other entries, I don’t necessarily hate the song. It’s a simple pop song, but it’s catchy and I’m not mad that it’s stuck in my head.
30. UNITED KINGDOM – “I Wrote a Song” (Mae Muller)
Ranked 25th in the final – It’s a bit underwhelming that after last year’s “SPACE MAN,” Muller resurrected the UK’s pattern for settling at the bottom of the final results. The chorus is catchy with its melody and repetitive lyrics, but I can barely remember what the verses sounded like, and there were so many more dynamic songs that stood superior to “I Wrote a Song.”
29. GEORGIA – “Echo” (Iru)
Not Qualified – I don’t have too much to complain about this song, it simply fell between the cracks of the great tracks and the bad ones with my only memorable thing to say about it being the powerful vocals of the chorus.
28. DENMARK – “Breaking My Heart” (Reiley)
Not Qualified – With its typical young-boy-band-love-song vibe, I didn’t expect “Breaking My Heart” to qualify as it is a lot more generic than the other pop songs sung during the semifinal. It resembles the vibe of a Justin Bieber or Jonas Brothers’ song, and specifically for American audiences, as the majority of viewers for Eurovision tend to make up an older demographic, that style of music doesn’t necessarily appeal to a large majority of young adults onwards. Nonetheless, I actually happen to enjoy the robotic effects in the vocals, and quite enjoy the song casually regardless.
27. THE NETHERLANDS – “Burning Daylight” (Mia Nicolai, Dion Cooper)
Not Qualified – There’s something special about the duet of “Burning Daylight.” Maybe it wasn’t the most exciting song for Eurovision, but that doesn’t make it at all a bad tune.
26. SWEDEN – “Tattoo” (Loreen)
Winner – I have such a bad taste in my mouth just thinking about this song because Loreen’s vocals in the build-up – “Violins playing and the angels crying” are so terrible, it sounds like she was trying too hard to pour all her vocal power into those lyrics that they just ended up mumbling and sounding like a bad singer with novocaine shot freshly into their gums. I’m not upset that she won based on the songwriting, but anytime I hear someone call her an amazing vocalist I want to crack my screen. But I guess looking at my ranking of the song, I didn’t hate it enough to think it deserved to be left out of the final, and regardless, her dymanics are solid; it is very true that the passion she sings with lives rent-free in your brain after just one listen.
25. CYPRUS – “Break a Broken Heart” (Andrew Lambrou)
Ranked 12th in the final – This number blew me away as Lambrou belted the chorus out on stage, and the melody of the song overall is amazing, but I have to agree that “Break a Broken Heart” is a bit too underwhelming to be a winner.
24. CROATIA – “Mama ŠČ!” (Let 3)
Ranked 13th in the final – Did I see this song winning? Heck no. But it’s so funny and adds a variety to the final that was provided last year with Moldova’s polka number. Maybe it’s not the greatest song that Croatia could have offered up for the competition, but it’s this year’s party-in-a-can, and you know that those watching are not forgetting “Mama ŠČ!” anytime in the near future.
23. GREECE – “What They Say” (Victor Vernicos)
Not Qualified – To be fair, I completely understand why Greece did not qualify for the final; I and many other viewers viewed Vernicos’ performance as lacking, and his vocals were underwhelming. Even I wrote of “What They Say” as forgettable when the second semifinal aired, and I didn’t expect it to pass. But even as I view opinions of the song’s recording, a vast majority of listeners pass this song off as “generic male energy.” While I completely agree, I can’t lie that I eat up that vibe. The song is feel-good, empowering, I personally dig the chest power in Vernicos’ vocals, and the vibe reminds me of the types of songs that were popular in the areas I grew up in as a kid.
22. SLOVENIA – “Carpe Diem” (Joker Out)
Ranked 21st in the final – With such youthful energy, “Carpe Diem” is a fun tune that was another fan favorite of this year, especially with the band’s shenanigans with Käärijä. It has that home-brewed vibe to it but still delivering a party and making anybody want to jump up on stage with them and dance.
21. ALBANIA – “Duje” (Albina Kelmendi, Familja Kelmendi)
Ranked 22nd in the final – I’ve heard many call this song boring, but it has the power of Norway’s “Queen of Kings” blended together with the combined vibes of Spain’s “EAEA” and Moldova’s “Soarele si Luna.” My opinion of the number certainly fell the more songs I heard from its semifinal, but it still stands out as a powerful vocal feature from Albania.
20. SPAIN – “EAEA” (Blanca Paloma)
Ranked 17th in the final – Premeditated to enjoy songs like this by my love of Kula Shaker, “EAEA” has that traditional, ritualistic vocal style with riffs that please the ear and leave you feeling satisfied. But even though it was so beautifully crafted, it just doesn’t give the same kind of fun or kick that other songs do.
19. SAN MARINO – “Like an Animal” (Piqued Jacks)
Not Qualified – Sure, maybe “Like an Animal” is generic, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love it. It’s got that Twisted Sister or AC/DC power to it that make it hard to hate the song, even though the band didn’t end up qualifying. I love “Carpe Diem” as much as the next person, but “Like an Animal” seems more solid in sound, vocals, and structure than the former. Probably what gives it the greatest boast is its use of echos and harmonies.
18. BELGIUM – “Because of You” (Gustaph)
Ranked 7th in the final – “Because of You” is so gay, and I am here for it. With the drag queens slaying on stage following the contesting performers of the second semifinal, it is clear that Gustaph was made for this year’s competition. It may be a cheap pop song, but his voice is so juicy and and the lyrics apply to so many walks of life both in and outside of the LGBTQ+ community, it is so uplifting and gets you in a better mood than you were in before hearing it. And the look on Gustaph’s face when he qualified and got points in the vote? So wholesome.
17. ARMENIA – “Future Lover” (Brunette)
Ranked 14th in the final – This song is carried by its harmonies that closely follow the lead vocals like spirits haunting Brunette. Almost as if possessed, she barrels through the bridge of the second half of the song through the “fire in [her] veins” and the “panic attacks” before returning to the haunting style of the opening, deciding to “be good” and carry the emotions in her belting vocals to get the real message across.
16. IRELAND – “We are One” (Wild Youth)
Not Qualified – I still don’t know why this song didn’t qualify; the lyrics were uplifting, the chorus was memorable, the 70s pop/rock vibes that liken to that of Bruce Springsteen gave it that touch of nostalgia, and the Irish tend to do very well in the annual contest’s history. I loved the golden outfits on the stage that made me think of Elvis, the echoing “We are one” behind the chorus, and the message of individuality and youth that held throughout the song from the start of the lyrics with the exceptionally strong first verse:
We take our first breath, and then we exhale
Though we give it all we got until we fail
We get back up again, we take a look around
Oh, life can be a long road but at least we’re not alone
15. ISRAEL – “Unicorn” (Noa Kirel)
Ranked 3rd in the final – There’s so many things to love about this song, from the slightly breathy opening vocals, to the chorus, the “Feminine-feminine-femininal,” and the dance break at the end was my personal favorite dance solo of the whole competition.
14. FINLAND – “Cha Cha Cha” (Käärijä)
Ranked 2nd in the final – Initially, I had this song falling dead last on my list. I hate EDM, metal is not the genre for me, and it made my mood worse knowing that it was probably going to win anyway. But after the final ended and the internet lit on fire angry over the results (and rightfully so), I realized that the more times that I heard “Cha Cha Cha,” the more it began to warm up to me. With the exception of maybe one or two songs I have yet to mention, I have actually had this song on repeat more than any other song listed here. It’s not a song I would like in any other circumstance, but it’s funny and endearing and a party that makes you laugh and smile, and it carries the memories of the whole contest with it. Not to mention the lyrics perfectly encapsulating the Finnish spirit, at least from what I know having a friend from the country.
13. GERMANY – “Blood and Glitter” (Lord of the Lost)
Ranked 26th in the final – I personally don’t love metal, but the 80s vibe combined with the David Bowie-esque vocals can please even those like me who aren’t the biggest fans of streaming vocals. Even so, I feel that the growling vocal screams add an extra flare to the rocking guitar and drums as frontman Chris Harms belts out, “We’re so happy we could die.” And considering Germany’s previous lineup of artists and songs that miserably flopped in competition the past few years, “Blood and Glitter” should not have come in dead last.
12. AUSTRALIA – “Promise” (Voyager)
Ranked 9th in the final – What would it be like having Australia host Eurovision? Guess we won’t know in 2024, but we certainly got close this year with the jury’s reception of “Promise.” I can’t say I disagree with them; the guitars in this song with the vocal hooks itched that classic, but modern rock itch in my brain that I was waiting for in this competition. The repetition of lyrics like “Have you ever done anything like this before?” and “Promise me it’s gonna/Promise me it’s gonna be alright” just made it even more addicting to me.
11. LATVIA – “Aijā” (Sudden Light)
Not Qualified – Having more of an indie vibe to it, I didn’t necessarily expect “Aijā” to qualify when there weren’t too many slots left, but you gotta know I’m sucker for any and all things indie. Frontman Andrejs Reinis Zitmanis’ vocals are so soft and give just the perfect volume of emotion and hit the pitch so beautifully that it’s like a light trying to guide you through a cave that’s “too dark to see.” As he sings about the too many voices trying to distract you from the “right words at the right time,” the guitars and drums pitter-patter against each other stimulating the everyday sounds that might distract you from focusing in times where extreme concentration is needed. Absolutely every aspect of this little tune is so well crafted, and it was done dirty being left out of the final.
10. CZECHIA – “My Sister’s Crown” (Vesna)
Ranked 10th in the final – Based on staging alone, Czechia takes the win, hands down (except for maybe Moldova) as Vesna struts down the stage in a line, one by one dropping their long braids and flopping as they demand “We are not your dolls/We are not your dolls.” This song displays so much power and support in the girls’ layered harmonies, which really carry the song and make it stick.
9. MOLDOVA – “Soarele si Luna” (Pasha Parfani)
Ranked 18th in the final – We saw many songs this year featuring a dark or ritualistic tone such as Albania and Spain, but there’s something about the tribal flute of “Soarele si Luna” that make it stand out among the others. The contrast of the deep, resonating bass vocals at the start with the more airy voice make it even more irresistible, and every aspect of this tune just prove that every beat of this song was handled with great care in the songwriting.
8. MALTA – “Dance (Our Own Party)” (The Busker)
Not Qualified – I didn’t think to put Malta’s “Dance (Our Own Party)” at the top of the list while watching the semifinals, but the saxophone solo makes the tune so irresistible and charming that I had to move it all the way up. This song grew on me so quickly, and every time I hear lead singer David Meilak whisper “Do you wanna dance?” it makes me melt and want to jump up and start dancing with the rest of the band.
7. FRANCE – “Évidemment” (La Zarra)
Ranked 16th in the final – There was so much disappointment on my end when Serbia’s “In Corpone Sano” didn’t win number one, and I feel that “Évidemment” with its similar sound was given an even worse treatment this year. I don’t normally find the French language to be as romantic as other people say so, but La Zarra’s voice skillfully rounding the sedated syllables of the language almost taste like chocolates offered to a lover on a momentous occasion. Maybe the public was committed to trying to get Finland to number one, but whichever way the cookie crumbles, La Zarra was cheated out of a higher spot.
6. PORTUGAL – “Ai Corção” (Mimicat)
Ranked 23rd in the final – Portugal. Deserved. Better. The pink flamingo dresses, the music that made you want to dance like they taught you in your dance class, and Mimicat’s catlike vocals, it is such a perfect song for Portugal.
5. UKRAINE – “Heart of Steel” (TVORCHI)
Ranked 6th in the final – “Heart of Steel” was the first song I was introduced to this competition, and I was pleasantly surprised, as I personally had “Stefania” at the bottom of my list from last year’s competition. The lyrics are strong, and the song is so catchy; I can’t imagine any way I could have changed this song to make it better. Unfortunately, the public upheld this opinion over the jury, who favored Italy for the top 5 instead.
4. ESTONIA – “Bridges” (ALKIA)
Ranked 8th in the final – With its perfect vocals, beautiful piano, and touching lyrics, this song picks you up from your own world and takes you on a journey of rebirth and a better life. When I first heard it, I had misheard the chorus as “building up a world of rejects,” which I confess I liked a little bit than “bridges,” but nevertheless, Estonia earned a well-deserved placing in the top 10.
3. ROMANIA – “D.G.T (Off and On)” (Theodor Andrei)
Not Qualified – I was appalled when Romania didn’t qualify. I so expected “D.G.T” to pass with flying colors, and Andrei’s vocals are so criminally underrated. I could (and I do) listen to this song on repeat over and over again without getting tired of it. The repetition of “Degete degete” after the English portion of the song is so addicting, and the chorus in general and how Andrei screams throughout the song is perfect and passionate and makes me sway and bounce to the beat and pulling of the melody. Looking at the rest of his discography, it seems as if Andrei is a very small artist, which both blows me away that he shot up to this competition after Romania’s final and makes me want so badly for more people to hear his music because he really deserves to be heard.
2. SWITZERLAND – “Watergun” (Remo Forrer)
Ranked 20th in the final – I was so sad when Switzerland received zero votes from viewers in 2022, and I was so glad that Forrer was not left with that same fate this year. Songs closer to ballads don’t tend to attract the most favorites compared to the more upbeat, dynamic, and louder pop songs, but the repetition of the chorus in “Watergun” is so heavy, and you can’t help but get it stuck in your head. I just can’t get enough of the piano that opens the song, and the low pitches that open the song resonate so well with Forrer’s vocal pipes that is makes the higher chorus even more attractive to the ear. The lyrics speak so well to the recent events of the war in Ukraine preventing last year’s winners from hosting, and the comparison of children’s water guns to tanks and “body bags that we’ve become” hits like a bullet as you think back to the naïvety of children’s war games. If Eurovision were a contest focusing on lyrical genius, I would bet on “Watergun” overtaking the competition by a landslide.
1. NORWAY – “Queen of Kings” (Alessandra)
Ranked 5th in the final – I watched Alessandra enter the stage first thing Tuesday evening, and I immediately knew it couldn’t get better than this. The first one to play at a show always runs the biggest risk of being forgotten, but I was ready to sue somebody if “Queen of Kings” didn’t take that last spot in the final. The lead vocalist has such a wide range – both in her chest voice and her falsetto – and perfect control of her pipes. With the feminine power energy in the lyrics and live performances, you know this song is not being forgotten anytime soon; I have yet to meet a person who has a negative opinion of this song. And considering the head-to-head battle between Sweden and Finland vying for first, Norway winning third on the televotes was well-deserved.
